A New Leaf

Whoever said that miracles don't happen everyday is simply ignorant and I hope they find contentment soon. And whoever said that change is hard to come by is hiding from accomplishment.

If I could list all the ways that my life has been revolutionized in the past week and a half, your head might explode. Therefore, in thinking of you my readers, I will spare you. Cause I love you. And that love is part of my revolution. And I am wicked pumped about it.

I used to be...
a worry wort
a nervous wreck
a selfish being
a bad listener
a spoiled brat
a pitiful follower of Christ

I suppose that those bad characteristics still reside in me. In turning over a new leaf, no one becomes a "changed person" over night. However, I've learned to recognize my faults and start forcing myself into believing that there is so much more that life has to offer and in remaining poor at heart is simply not an option.

I gave God control.

The reason I could never figure life out...
The reason I was always so worried...
The reason I was frustrated...
The reason I felt alone and misunderstood...
Was because I was trying to do it all (life) myself.

And I simply can't. And I don't want to anymore. God wants our whole hearts. So in starting off the school year, I decided immediately that THAT was my new leaf.

Let go.
It's in His hands.
He loves you.
He won't forsake you.
So long as you keep your heart set on Him.
You have one life to live, which He gave you.
For God's sake (literally), LIVE IT!

Has it been an easy transition from tight-wad into care-free? Well, I'm taking baby steps. But knowing that God is with me makes those baby steps feel like marathons. I've only been taking on this new attitude for a week and a half and it's felt like all those months (and months and months) of being lost never even happened. And God keeps telling me that that's okay. Guilt and regret are simply not languages that God speaks. When you come back to Him, no matter your past, He'll take you back with open arms. That's how coming home is supposed to feel. And let me tell you, it feels so good to be home. I'm letting Him guide me. And He has done great things. And it has humbled me so much. I'm so small. Who am I that He should love me? That He should bless me? My heart is His now. He can do with it what He wishes. And as my good friend Whitney reminded me the other day, "perfect love casts out all fear." All I can think is "thank you thank you thank you" while mingling with a mixture of "Yes!" and "Yay!" I feel loved and all I can think to do is praise my Father.

And guess what the best part is? He loves you, too. This isn't about me anymore. It's all about Him. Since I turned over this new leaf, I haven't had a bad day. I don't tell you this to brag, I promise. I tell you this so that maybe you can be led in the way I was. Are you confused and looking for answers? I was for so long. I didn't understand life in general. Here's a quote that was in our school planner this week...

"I try to avoid looking forward or backward and try to keep looking upward."
-Charlotte Bronte

That's good advice. Look up. Give Him a smile. Let Him love you. Let Him bless you. Because He will. You just have to let Him in. Isn't that just the best news you've ever heard?!

Classes and plays will be enriching, I'm sure. But this year, my goal is to simply let go and live. And like I said before, the past week and a half of living that way has been amazing. Care to join me? Let's go jump around and act retarded for a little while. God appreciates celebration :)

(By the way, Happy Birthday Sherri Baby! She's my roommate and turns 21 today. Love you girl!)