Racing: The Way It Oughtta Be.

Lately, the semester has begun to really pick up. It's becoming the whirlwind of business that I craved all summer long. I'm the type that really does enjoy having lots to do, keeping occupied and tasking. This year is no exception. Things are a little different this year though. Being a senior, I feel a little more...I don't know the right word...important (maybe?). It's probably the senioritis kicking in, but the way I see it after three long years of strenuous, hard work, I'm entitled to a little senioritis. I think any senior is. So I'm enjoying my classes and such a lot more than I have in the past because the finish line is so near. But then I stop and consider just how near that finish line really is. It's close, folks. Real close. Where did the time go?

The past week or so, a common theme has been appearing in my daily life: the race. I've been thinking a lot about it. Here I am, a senior in college, on the verge of independence, adulthood, and the real world. In May a nice gentleman will hand me a piece of paper declaring that "I have brains" and then I'm off. So...then what?

I don't mean to pull a Carrie Bradshaw here, but I couldn't help but wonder...

What are we racing towards?

I read an article for a class recently that used a pretty clever analogy in regards to this subject. The article talked about a racing dog who had given up his sport. He was pretty content in his quitting and his friends asked him why he quit. The dog replied, "Oh, I just realized that the rabbit I was chasing in the races was made out of wood. So I stopped chasing it." Wow. I don't know. That just hit me hard.

What is a wooden rabbit for me & you?
A diploma/degree?
A relationship?
Money?
Stuff?
Food?
Places?
Ourselves?

Then at church on Sunday, our pastor talked about how there is a difference between what we place on the alter and what we place on the throne. Wam, bam! God has a weird way of showing up and telling us things, doesn't he? I'm thankful for God's persistantness because I, as a soon-to-be college graduate, need to be constantly reminded to put God first. In all I do. That way I don't end up chasing a wooden rabbit. God wants to hear about our problems and our wants, He does. Talk to Him. Put those things on the alter. Just not on the throne. Ya dig? (It's not easy.)

Since rehearsals started for our fall production, my life has fallen back into it's usual routine. Get up-get ready-eat-class-eat-class-work study-eat-rehearsal-homework-dead I MEAN bed. It's nutso. Although I enjoy my classes and I enjoy rehearsals, I can't help but feel the stress of it all, especially at the end of every day. I sometimes have trouble sleeping. I don't feel like I have too much on my plate...maybe I do...I don't think I do. But that's not the point. The point is that I can't let myself sink. I sank last year and let me tell you it was not pretty. At least not from my side. It sucked. Sinking sucks. I simply refuse to sink ever again, so help me God (seriously, God help me out).

In this whirling cyclone of my life, it's very easy to put other things on the throne and not on the alter. It's very easy to start chasing wooden rabbits. I keep adding new things to my list of what I want to accomplishing spiritually this semester...

Be patient
Stop worrying
Keep your priorities in line
Find out what's really important
Be on time for stuff (not spiritual really but punctuality never hurt anybody)

The more people use the metaphor of life as a race, the more it annoys me. I don't want to think of life as a race. Maybe because I think like a sprinter and I just don't want it to go whizzing past. No. If I am going to think of life as a race, can I just be racing towards eternity? That way it's not really racing towards some kind of means of an end. More the means of a forever. That's more motivational. And if I'm going to be racing towards eternity, what do you think I need to keep my eyes on?

Into the Woods, No More

I'm addicted to the Sirius/XM Live on Broadway station. While driving home today, I heard this song and it touched my heart. It's a very sad song but through the sadness I felt hope. I had to share. If you aren't familiar with the show Into the Woods, I would strongly recommend it. It's one of my favorites. However I don't think you have to know the show to feel these words.

"No more questions,
Please.
No more tests.
Comes the day you say, 'What for?'
Please- no more.

They disappoint,
They disappear,
They die but they don't...

What?

They disappoint
In turn, I fear.
Forgive, though, they won't...

No more riddles.
No more jests.
No more curses you can't undo,
Left by fathers you never knew.
No more quests.

No more feelings.
Time to shut the door.
Just- no more.

Running away- let's do it,
Free from the ties that bind.
No more despair
Or burdens to bear
Out there in the yonder.

Running away- go to it.
Where did you have in mind?
Have to take care:
Unless there's a 'where,'
You'll only be wandering blind.
Just more questions.
Different kind.

Where are we to go?
Where are we ever to go?

Running away- we'll do it.
Why sit around, resigned?
Trouble is, son,
The farther you run,
The more you feel undefined
For what you've left undone
And, more, what you've left behind.

We disappoint,
We leave a mess,
We die but we don't...

We disappoint
In turn, I guess.
Forget, though, we won't...

Like father, like son.

No more giants
Waging war.
Can't we just pursue our lives
With our children and our wives?
'Till that happy day arrives,
How do you ignore
All the witches,
All the curses,
All the wolves, all the lies,
The false hopes, the goodbyes,
The reverses,
All the wondering what even worse is
Still in store?

All the children...
All the giants...

No more."

Stephen Sondheim, you never let me down. A piece of my heart is yours, sir.

Did you know "curve ball" is NOT one word? Thank you spell check.

Sometimes, hitting the curve ball can be what wins you the game.

This semester I have come to learn that I never really know where life is going to take me each day. It's like every day is its own little adventure. I don't wake up in the morning and think, "Gee, what kind of antics will today bring?" But it never seems to fail that I am shaking my head at some point every day and I think about how bizarre it is how weird my "plain Jane" life is sometimes.

I've thought a lot this semester about being in the right place at the right time. I've said that with your heart set on the Lord, you'll always be where you ought to be when you ought to be there. It's a simple concept but it's been blowing my freaking mind. It's funny how big the world can be even though you only live in a small part of it. That small part can seem big at times. We're all like cogs in the big clock of life...and by using that metaphor I don't mean to say we're running out of time...even though we kind of are...but that's not the point I'm trying to make...gee whiz this paragraph just took a sharp turn into depressing. "You're an essentially cog in the clock of your life...time is quickly running out." Okay readers, set down the razor blades and let's get back on the happy train :-) (I try very hard, by the way, to avoid emoticons or whatever the eff they're called...let's just say I'm saving them only to be used in extreme cases...moving on.)

So anyway, back to what I was saying. Every day is going to take you to a new place. Your day might be filled with hundreds of little details that shape you. Your day may be a day filled with one huge thing that shapes you. The thing to know is that no two days will ever be exactly the same. Appreciate the day that God has given us. Smile. Enjoy it. We've got one life ya'll. One. Uno. Eins. Let's have fun while we're here.

I used to think of the "curve balls" of life as always being bad things. Like when things are going supposedly really good then all of a sudden BAM. You get knocked down and can't seem to get up again. So therefore you develop a very understandable seething hatred for curve balls. But I'm beginning to see that curve balls aren't always bad. Sometimes things might be going really badly for you. You have a sucky day or a sucky person comes along and just (figuratively (hopefully)) craps all over you. You've got the little black rain cloud over your head. Then BAM. Something amazing happens.

Clouds always give way to the light. Always.

I see joy in every day. I also see the pain. But I'm seeing what's worth focusing on. Guess which one it is? Ya'll are smart. You know.

Enjoy each of life's adventures, big or small. Follow God. He'll show you what adventures are the best, the most exciting, the most worth-while. The sun will seem brighter. The trees, leafier. The birds, chirpier. And the world, happier.

So embrace the curve balls...and avoid clock metaphors when attempting to be encouraging... :-)

Mountains & Molehills

Hey. School got real crazy real fast. But no worries. I haven't forgotten you. Couldn't if I tried. I also have had a bit of a writer's block lately. Not sure why. I blame my cluttered mind. Like, it's not that I can't think of things to say but the problem is just that I have too much to say but I can't decide what's important enough to actually post. Which kind of ties into what I did ultimately decide to write about...

What's really important?

That is such a burning question, my fingers get hot just typing it (okay, not really, but wouldn't that be cool?). What really matters? What's worth your time thinking about it? What "it" means more to you than anything else? Why does one "it" overshadow others? Are our "its" prioritized right? How do we know if they are? Shew, I may have to soak my hands in ice water after that schpeel.

There's an old expression...I would say it's one of my "southernisms" but I'm not sure if it's only said in the south or not. Maybe you Yankees have heard it. It goes like this: Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. The meaning of the expression is obvious. Don't get worked up/make a big deal out of something that is small/doesn't really matter. This is a practice I have struggled with pretty much my entire life. As a girl, and ladies can I get a what-what, I analyze everything. And what's worse, I OVER-analyze everything. I can't seem to put a lasso around the analyzation that goes on in my head every minute of the day. It can be rather exhausting to tell you the truth. The problem got progressively worse as I got older. When you're young, problems are simple (or at least they seem simple now, looking back on them). As you grow into an adult, your problems only seem to get bigger. And as you mature, you start to question what a "problem" really is.

Is it a problem
...when you oversleep?
...when things don't go your way?
...when things don't go the way you expected?
...when people let you down?
...when you put your foot in your mouth?
...when you procrastinate?
...when you have to wait?
...when things pile up on you?
...when you get in trouble?
...when you know you should've gotten in trouble?
...when you doubt?
...when you stumble?
...when you forget most everything you think you know?

The answer will never be the same two times in a row. Yes, no, maybe so. Only you can decide for yourself. But the main thing to remember is that no matter your problem, whether it be a mountain or a molehill, you'll get through it. There's another expression that goes, "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." Don't let your world come crashing down over a small thing. And for that matter, don't let it come crashing over a big thing. I know what you're thinking..."Oh, Melanie. Don't be stupid. If something HUGE happened to you tomorrow, you're world would come crashing down. You're just that dramatic type." Well, hypothetical reader, you might be right. But then again...you might be wrong.

As we become adults about to be thrust into the scary, scary world of life, we have to remember to not make mountains out of molehills. We have to learn to discern between big and small, right and wrong. For the sake of our own lives and those around us, we have to see the difference. The encouraging news is that even though these problems are put in our paths on a daily basis, we will in the end always end up right where God wants us. If your heart is set on God, you can never be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You just can't. It's not gonna happen. End of story. Actually, no. Not end of story. This story is far from over.

So enjoy your story and, as my dad says, don't sweat the small stuff.