John Hughes was onto something...

In the classic 1980's teen film Ferris Bueller's Day Off, John Hughes (director and screenwriter) wrote, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Everyone loves this quote because it lives with the motto of being footloose and fancy free. Life is peaches so let's have fun. And this quote worked very well in the 1980s. Such an amazing time to be alive. Today is also an amazing time to be alive. Unfortunately, some are not.

My mom's best friend died earlier this week. Now, when I say best friend, that is the understatement of the century. This woman was the sister that my mom never had. Actually, considering the relationship my mom has with my uncle (who is like 6 years her junior or something), this woman was the closest person my mom had to a sibling in general. They knew each other since they were young girls. They grew up together, got in trouble together, and had the time of their lives growing up in the 1960s and 70s. They graduated high school in 1978 and up until two days ago, they still remained close friends. My mom's friend had suffered with health problems involving asthma her entire life. It was my mom's wish (even when they were just kids) for her friend to have a normal childhood. She never made an exception of her, tried to make sure she played and did everything all the other kids did (which included sometimes sending her friend into some scary asthma attacks which they always laughed about later). My mom loved her friend deeply. And early on Wednesday morning of this week, mom got the call that her friend had passed. Her breathing issues had finally taken her. Mom cried all day.

I think about what it would be like to lose someone who means that much to you. I've never really experienced true grief over the loss of a loved one. All my grandparents are still alive. I still have both my parents. I've never lost any close friends (by death that is). Hell, I've never even lost a pet that I was close to. I have been living blissfully for the past 21 years never having lost a single person that I've loved. So there's only one thing that would happen today if I did lose someone...

My world would be shattered into a million teeny tiny pieces.

I would like to tell you that I would be brave, strong, and at peace. I would like to say that I would know that it was their time to go and that God knows when the time comes for each of us and everything is in His hands. That may be true but I would still be broken. Not just heartbroken but broken from head to toe. I think about my best friend, after seeing what my mom has been going through. If my best friend died...I would be utterly devastated. And I have only known her for two and a half years! I can't imagine if it were a best friend I had had literally my whole life!

My mom's friend was a good lady. Everyone loved her. But it's not fair that she was taken at such a young age. She was only about 50. That's only half a life! It's so sad to play the "coulda/woulda/shoulda" game when it comes to someone's life after they're gone. So I won't. I just don't want to go there. But still, all this has sparked a million thoughts in my mind...the most prevalent being this...

Life is just too short.

I now finally understand the line between immaturity and maturity. Maturity means not listening to everyone else and listening to yourself for a change. That is where stamina and confidence comes from. Last night I went to Food City for some things. I bought a loaf of white bread, two packs of gum, some Pantene hair care stuff, a box of brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts, and four six-packs of Diet Mountain Dew. The 15-year-old self inside of me was crying, "This is such a dorky array of goods! Aren't you embarrassed! This is something that you at 15 would have been embarrassed about!" But it didn't bother me anymore. I wasn't afraid. And I know that example might sound cheap and meaningless but I have a feeling you know exactly what I'm talking about. Life is too short to worry about pointless things like what people are thinking about what you buy or what you wear or how you talk or how you spell. It doesn't matter. All that matters in life is that you are happy with exactly who you are. It's your job to fill in the blanks.

So naturally, in this new spirit of grabbing life by the balls and carpe diem, I wanted to start being as productive as possible. And of course, the first day of this new lease on life, I do nothing. I went to my class this morning, came home, got back in to bed, and did nothing. I watched TV, read a little from my new romance novel (I'm becoming addicted but I just look at it as my new guilty pleasure), and just laid there like a big turd. It's now almost 7 PM and I feel like a failure at life. My mom's friend is gone and I just wasted a beautiful June day. I did nothing for myself. I did nothing for anyone else. I did nothing for God. What is wrong here?Things have gotta change.

So I propose this. Tomorrow is one of my busy days. I have class in the morning and lab most of the afternoon. But I'm not going to stop there. Even though I'm going to come home tomorrow feeling like my brain is mush from all the biology being poured into it, I promise you, my readers, that I will go to the gym and do something good for my body (and also for my bank account considering that the membership fee isn't going to be flushed down the toilet, so help me God). I'll come home tired but fulfilled knowing that not only was Friday June 4, 2010 a productive day but also I kept a promise to you. And P.S. I don't know if anyone actually reads this except for a couple of friends and my mom, but that's good enough for me. I write these things for anyone and everyone who maybe or someday is going through this same growing-up-life-is-hard bullshit that I am. God bless all of you. We're in this together.

Hug your loved ones today. Tell them how much they mean to you. Because, as Matthew Broderick said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."