"Madly" being the operative word

In my head, in my chest, in my stomach, in my legs, in my arms, in my fingers, in my toes, in my big, thumping heart...

I'm feeling the excitement
I'm feeling the stress.
I'm feeling the anticipation.
It's all coming.
Like a roaring freight train.
But I amazingly don't feel tied to the tracks.
That, in itself, is a very good feeling.

Classes are starting to really pick up. I earnestly thought that second semester of senior year would be a breeze, a piece of cake, a turkey shoot. I was wrong. But I'm glad I was wrong. Everything I'm learning, everything I'm gaining, everything I'm experiencing...I can feel it shaping me. It's weird and wonderful and I'm loving every minute of it.

Reading lots of Shakespeare,
Memorizing LOTS of Shakespeare,
Learning how to be a stage manager,
Trying to learn how to be a good stage manager,
Working with people,
Leading people,
Learning when to follow,
Doing things on my terms for the first time in...maybe ever.

Tomorrow, I shoot the first half of my student film project. I can't believe it's really happening. It feels like only yesterday that I wrote the script. That was a year ago. When we had our cast read-through a couple of weeks ago, I almost cried hearing the words, my words, brought to life. It hasn't been an easy road getting to the here and now. But most of the time, the best things are always the most difficult to achieve. The road to success is paved with many obstacles. But you deal. I have a great cast and a great crew behind me. I just want to shoot it. So bad. And I will. Tomorrow. Say a little prayer for me. We're starting at 8:30 AM. My idea, too. Goodness, what was I thinking? The bulk of your prayer can just be, "Dear Lord, help Melanie to WAKE UP!" because I guarantee you that will be the hardest part of my day.

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You aren't always going to be able to hold it together.
Sometimes things just fall apart.
Get upset, it's okay.
Things turn out well in the end.
I don't know how; it's a mystery.
But it does.
Sometimes other people need to be kicked in the ass.
It's for their own good.
Just remember to kick them with love.
Never with anything else.
Ever.
And remember that you need yours kicked often, too.
It's for your own good.
For the good of the world, even if it's just your world.
And although sometimes the madness seems to halt all things,
Remember,
The world spins madly on.

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.