In my head, in my chest, in my stomach, in my legs, in my arms, in my fingers, in my toes, in my big, thumping heart...
I'm feeling the excitement
I'm feeling the stress.
I'm feeling the anticipation.
It's all coming.
Like a roaring freight train.
But I amazingly don't feel tied to the tracks.
That, in itself, is a very good feeling.
Classes are starting to really pick up. I earnestly thought that second semester of senior year would be a breeze, a piece of cake, a turkey shoot. I was wrong. But I'm glad I was wrong. Everything I'm learning, everything I'm gaining, everything I'm experiencing...I can feel it shaping me. It's weird and wonderful and I'm loving every minute of it.
Reading lots of Shakespeare,
Memorizing LOTS of Shakespeare,
Learning how to be a stage manager,
Trying to learn how to be a good stage manager,
Working with people,
Leading people,
Learning when to follow,
Doing things on my terms for the first time in...maybe ever.
Tomorrow, I shoot the first half of my student film project. I can't believe it's really happening. It feels like only yesterday that I wrote the script. That was a year ago. When we had our cast read-through a couple of weeks ago, I almost cried hearing the words, my words, brought to life. It hasn't been an easy road getting to the here and now. But most of the time, the best things are always the most difficult to achieve. The road to success is paved with many obstacles. But you deal. I have a great cast and a great crew behind me. I just want to shoot it. So bad. And I will. Tomorrow. Say a little prayer for me. We're starting at 8:30 AM. My idea, too. Goodness, what was I thinking? The bulk of your prayer can just be, "Dear Lord, help Melanie to WAKE UP!" because I guarantee you that will be the hardest part of my day.
-----------
You aren't always going to be able to hold it together.
Sometimes things just fall apart.
Get upset, it's okay.
Things turn out well in the end.
I don't know how; it's a mystery.
But it does.
Sometimes other people need to be kicked in the ass.
It's for their own good.
Just remember to kick them with love.
Never with anything else.
Ever.
And remember that you need yours kicked often, too.
It's for your own good.
For the good of the world, even if it's just your world.
And although sometimes the madness seems to halt all things,
Remember,
The world spins madly on.
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
22 Years, Plus One
Today is my 22nd birthday.
Today is also the one year anniversary of this blog.
As hard as it is for me to believe that I am now a 22 year-old, it is even more mind-blowing when I think about the fact that I have had this blog for an entire year. What a year it has been! So much has happened. And thanks to this blog, I can look back on those memories a little more vividly.
I played "Beth March" in Little Women the Musical.
I went to New York City, saw celebrities, lost my purse, and miraculously got it back.
I went to Charleston, SC and fell in love.
I directed a one act play.
I wrote a short film (which I'll actually be filming very soon).
I wrote a feature length film script.
I read a BUNCH of romance novels and loved each and every one of them.
I lost two pets in one summer.
I took summer classes at a different school.
I was in a music video.
I was given the lead role in the fall production at school.
I got to see/hear Sutton Foster sing live.
I got bangs for the first time since I was 3.
I learned in many different ways that love can be lost and found and lost again and found again in the strangest places and when you least expect it.
I learned that disappointments don't always lead to an end.
I learned that love covers a multitude of sins.
That last one I should have known already.
I went back and read my very first entry. The description I gave of myself as a new 21 year-old wasn't really all that different than how I am today. There were a lot of things about today, my 22nd birthday, that were strikingly similar to my 21st. Such as it snowed. And we got a snow delay. Two years in a row on that precious gift from nature. I felt very blessed. But at the same time, too much has happened in my life in the past year for me to really feel "the same." I don't feel the same. I feel (this might sound obvious but) older. Wiser. A little more mature. But I don't feel any more "serious." If anything I think I've lightened up a bit since last year. And honestly a lot of that development has only occurred in the last couple of months. I'm still just as much a work in progress as I was a year ago. And I guarantee you that a year from now, I'll still be. But I'd rather be a work in progress than stagnant, boring, without care. I would only wish the same for anyone.
Since I've rambled on about me me me for this whole post, I'll contribute something a little more real to what I've made this blog about. I'm going to simply share something I scribbled down in my journal last night. All I'll say in conclusion to this celebration of the anniversary is that this blog has been a real blessing for me in the last year. It's really helped me. It's something I've cherished and hope to cherish for a long time. Readers or no. It's a nice outlet for pretty much any kind of day I'm having. I would encourage anyone to have an outlet of some sort. Bottle things up and you'll drive yourself mad. So why not put it on the Internet for the whole world to see, right? Ha...okay seriously I'm done talking now. Enjoy. And thanks for reading.
"TREASURE ISLAND
If you find a treasure chest on a deserted island, are you really a rich man? What good are gold, silver, and jewels if you have nothing to spend them on? Nowhere to spend it. No one to share it with.
A man may be worth more than all the world combined, but without the simple gifts...
Family
Friends
Home
Companionship
Joy
LOVE...
He is as poor as the penniless fool.
True treasure is rarely buried. It is usually right in front of our eyes. No map. No 'X' marks the spot...But it's there.
Don't miss the tide."
Today is also the one year anniversary of this blog.
As hard as it is for me to believe that I am now a 22 year-old, it is even more mind-blowing when I think about the fact that I have had this blog for an entire year. What a year it has been! So much has happened. And thanks to this blog, I can look back on those memories a little more vividly.
I played "Beth March" in Little Women the Musical.
I went to New York City, saw celebrities, lost my purse, and miraculously got it back.
I went to Charleston, SC and fell in love.
I directed a one act play.
I wrote a short film (which I'll actually be filming very soon).
I wrote a feature length film script.
I read a BUNCH of romance novels and loved each and every one of them.
I lost two pets in one summer.
I took summer classes at a different school.
I was in a music video.
I was given the lead role in the fall production at school.
I got to see/hear Sutton Foster sing live.
I got bangs for the first time since I was 3.
I learned in many different ways that love can be lost and found and lost again and found again in the strangest places and when you least expect it.
I learned that disappointments don't always lead to an end.
I learned that love covers a multitude of sins.
That last one I should have known already.
I went back and read my very first entry. The description I gave of myself as a new 21 year-old wasn't really all that different than how I am today. There were a lot of things about today, my 22nd birthday, that were strikingly similar to my 21st. Such as it snowed. And we got a snow delay. Two years in a row on that precious gift from nature. I felt very blessed. But at the same time, too much has happened in my life in the past year for me to really feel "the same." I don't feel the same. I feel (this might sound obvious but) older. Wiser. A little more mature. But I don't feel any more "serious." If anything I think I've lightened up a bit since last year. And honestly a lot of that development has only occurred in the last couple of months. I'm still just as much a work in progress as I was a year ago. And I guarantee you that a year from now, I'll still be. But I'd rather be a work in progress than stagnant, boring, without care. I would only wish the same for anyone.
Since I've rambled on about me me me for this whole post, I'll contribute something a little more real to what I've made this blog about. I'm going to simply share something I scribbled down in my journal last night. All I'll say in conclusion to this celebration of the anniversary is that this blog has been a real blessing for me in the last year. It's really helped me. It's something I've cherished and hope to cherish for a long time. Readers or no. It's a nice outlet for pretty much any kind of day I'm having. I would encourage anyone to have an outlet of some sort. Bottle things up and you'll drive yourself mad. So why not put it on the Internet for the whole world to see, right? Ha...okay seriously I'm done talking now. Enjoy. And thanks for reading.
"TREASURE ISLAND
If you find a treasure chest on a deserted island, are you really a rich man? What good are gold, silver, and jewels if you have nothing to spend them on? Nowhere to spend it. No one to share it with.
A man may be worth more than all the world combined, but without the simple gifts...
Family
Friends
Home
Companionship
Joy
LOVE...
He is as poor as the penniless fool.
True treasure is rarely buried. It is usually right in front of our eyes. No map. No 'X' marks the spot...But it's there.
Don't miss the tide."
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