You guys. I finally did it. I finally did what I have said I have wanted to do, what I have dreamed of doing for the past 2 years. I moved myself all the way down to the beautiful city of Charleston, South Carolina. I look around at the bare walls of my new apartment right now and think to myself how unreal it all seems. What I "resolved" to do almost a year and a half ago has finally been "resolved" so to speak; I have my own rooms, my own water in the pipes, my own food in the fridge, my own view from my own windows. This is all something that I have dreamed of for so long. And now it is all a reality.
My head spins.
I left a lot behind in Tennessee. My whole life, in fact. I hugged my family and friends all tight and sometimes tearfully said my farewells. I mean, I'm not dying or anything. I'll see them again. But it is sad. It's sad to say goodbye to the people you love in any circumstance and for any given period of time. But they are the rocks on which I stand. They have all showered me with love and support that I never ever knew existed and I am so utterly grateful. I miss them. I know they wish me well, but I miss them.
Now to address the goofy title I gave this post.
My first night alone here, I watched one of my favorite movies, Moulin Rouge. There really isn't anything about that movie that I don't love. If you have never seen it, basically what happens is Ewan McGregor, a penniless writer, falls in love with Nicole Kidman, a prostitute who has almost lost all hope in her humanity. The movie is fueled by music, nearly all covers of relevant hits from all decades. One such song featured is a lovely rendition of "One Day I'll Fly Away," sung by Kidman. I used to sing that song at the top of my lungs in my old house. I would come home after school, have the house to myself, and belt it out. And what made it special was that I meant every word.
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends?
So as I was curled up watching the lovely Nicole sing this tune for the umpteenth time, this time was different. I paused and reflected because my life was different now than it has ever been before.
I flew away.
I still have to keep reminding myself that I am actually here, seven hours from my parents' house, Milligan, and everything and everyone I'm close to back home. I know I have only been here one week, so I suppose it's just something I'll get used to. There's no textbook on how to be strong and stand on your own for the first time in your life. Granted, everyone has advice..some good, some bad, some just downright odd, and some just downright fantastic. So far I've tried to just take it one day at a time and trust in the Lord. He is, after all, the one who led me here. He is the one who gave me the courage, the patience, the strength, and the wings to help me fly all the way to Charleston. And who am I to question a power like that?
Tonight, I'm watching Cold Mountain, another Kidman film. In this one, she's a mild Southern belle who has moved away from Charleston. Funny. I don't know. Maybe it's only funny in my weird little brain. But I thought it was an interesting parallel.
I've made some big decisions as of late. I'm confident but scared. More confident than scared. More excited than nervous. More curious than anxious. More fascinated than ever.
On the southern accent front, I've got Nicole Kidman beat. Hands down. Everything else however, well, that's up for discussion.
